Nightmares
by beforefirecouldcatchme
Summary: "When the darkness creeps in, I feel my nightmares watching me..." Katniss delves deep into the realm of her nightmares, but she comes to the scary conclusion that she can't face them alone. *one-shot.* I'm bad a tsummaries, sorry.


_"'Why don't you get some sleep?' he says. Because I can't handle the nightmares. Not without you, I think."_

And she was alone, left in silence, with only her screaming thoughts to keep her company.

* * *

I sank deeper under the covers, clutching my pillow like it was the only thing I had left. Then again, it was. Peeta was unreachable, and I didn't think I could face her nightmares without him. They taunted me, running through my mind, showing me horrifying images that made me shiver just at the thought of them. My last dream ran through my mind. I didn't think I could face sleep again, but I sank deeper into the covers, as if even they could shield me from my own thoughts. Sleep was my enemy, but the battle could only last so long...

* * *

The trees loomed out in front of me, taunting me, telling me this would be my last run. Glancing back, I thought I saw a slight shadow. My mind raced ahead, panicking. What was I to do next?

My ears caught the sound of a twig snapping behind me. I stared fearfully into the forest, which was alive with mystery. Without another thought of my surroundings, my feet took off. The warm soil pressed against the soles of my feet. I had never run faster in my life, as twigs and branches caught and cut me. _Don't glance back_, I told myself. _Don't glance back_. The branches brushed against my face as the sound of my feet reassured me that I was alive. Stinging my face, the air whipped around me. Curiosity and fear of my own life took me. I glanced but saw nothing, and the feet were coming far too close.

I tripped. A root had grabbed me, pulling me down to the ground, almost if it had wanted to protect me. But nothing could, and I untangled myself from the mess.

Licking my lips, I could soon taste the hard, dried blood. The tangy flavor sent a shiver through my body. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, clutching onto myself, as if I would fall to pieces if I let go. Gasping for air, I clutched the stitch in my stomach, wondering how anything could send this type pain shooting through me. Stopping my thoughts, I looked around.

Some sunlight filtered through the trees, beams of light sparkling on the glow of the raindrops. A mist permeated the air, leaving the forest damp in an eerily beautiful way. Suddenly, I realized I had run deep into the forest. A tear silently trickled down my cheek as I remembered my excursions in the forest, back in District 12.

Another twig snapped behind me. Whirling around, I saw shadows encircling me. All of a sudden, I saw a mutt out of the corner of my eye. But it wasn't the fearsome mutt that had attacked me on the Cornucopia. It was wailing, its shrieks bouncing off the trees. Tears trickled down my face as I realized the sound it was making: the sound of Gale being whipped combined with Prim's cries. My worst memories were chasing me, pulling me down, leaving me as an empty shell, with nowhere left to run.

The shrieks intensified, the sound running through my ears. I placed my hands over my ears, squeezing so hard that my head could explode, partly hoping that it would. The mutt was coming closer.

I took off running, just as two trees fell behind me, missing me by an inch, barring the hideous mutt from me. I couldn't hide forever; I could hear the monster clawing at the tree, tearing through its bark. It had given me a second to recollect myself in its pursuit of me, but no longer.

I took a deep breath and ran into the world of darkness.

The shrieks wouldn't stop. They were coming from a different direction. _Not Prim, not Gale, not Prim, not Gale, not Prim, not Gale_, I thought desperately. _Anyone but them._ My feet seemed to move of their own accord, moving faster and faster as those same wails grew louder and louder.

I ran and ran, leaving the mutt further, only to be confronted with an even more grotesque sight. Prim was hanging, her neck caught on a noose, her body limp. A single primrose hung in her hair. The tips of the branch burned, the flames creating shadows which told only the worst. Underneath, a single message: "This is for the girl who was on fire."

"PRIM!" That unknown voice, filled with desperation, echoed around the forest. Little did I know, that was my voice. The trees bounced the horrifying scream back to me, mocking me.

_"PRIM!"_

* * *

My screams pierced the night. Hands that didn't feel like mine were digging into my legs, nails cutting into flesh. My head shot up, the helplessness of that dream engulfing me. But I had to hold on for Prim. For Prim. _Prim was home. Prim was safe. Snow couldn't kill Prim. They had to keep her alive for me_, I reassured myself.

Suddenly, my throat started to constrict; I felt suffocated. I missed home. I missed the feel of my worn out shoes, the hunting trips with Gale…I even missed Buttercup's squashed face. The tears started to stream down my face, and though I tried everything in my power to stop them, they kept on flowing. I didn't want to cry, despite just having watched my worst thoughts come to life.

No one came. No one came at the sound of my screams. And so no one was there to watch me as I slowly broke down, my face crumpling, holding a pillow to catch the tears. In what seemed like a minute, the whole pillowcase was damp. I had no idea how long I'd been crying, a second, a minute, an hour.

And I wanted Peeta there.

I can't be strong enough, I thought. I can't be what they want me to be. I was unwillingly the face of the rebellion, the girl who was on fire, the girl who needed a boy to escape her nightmares...and that same girl was breaking down in the middle of the night, with only the darkness to keep her company. Another sob escaped me. Without even realizing it, I slipped back into sleep. Another battle lost.

* * *

I thought it was District 12. My dream-self glancing around, I realized I was just seeing what I wanted to see. It was somewhat similar, but only because I wanted it to be. It could possibly be District 4, maybe?

A somewhat elderly woman stood in front of me. We were in line for something, though I wasn't sure what. She had this familiar air about her, and I unconsciously called, "Greasy Sae?" The woman turned around, and to my disappointment, she was just another old woman. There was no remnant of home here.

"Were you talking to me, sweetie?" Her voice hissed.

"Um, I thought you were someone else," I mumbled, embarrassed, glancing at the floor.

"It's okaaa-" She never finished that sentence.

I could only watch in horror as she slowly began to transform. Not into a mutt, but some form of oversized rodent. Her legs grew shorts, her torso longer, a tail forming behind her. Her nails lengthened into claws, whiskers sprouting from her mouth, teeth jutting out, her eyes emotionless black orbs. This wasn't a rat that used to scurry around my cabin, this was a life-sized monster, a mutation.

Just as I registered this, she lunged at me. My arms reached out to push her away, but it was in vain. Her teeth snapped at my face, sending shooting pains all throughout my body. I doubled over, her tail lashing out at me. The fangs gnawed at me, tearing me to pieces, bit by bit, excruciatingly slowly. There was nothing I could do, I was rendered helpless. I could only feel the pain, watch a creature, who surely could only exist in hell, kill me.

* * *

And then I woke up.

I couldn't escape them. No matter what I did, without Peeta, my darkest thoughts chased me, tormenting me in my sleep. My own thoughts were my tormentors, stemming from my memories. There was no antidote, no safe place, nothing I could do alone.

I hated knowing that the only thing that would help were Peeta's arms. Those were what kept me from my nightmares, the only place in the arena that I had ever felt safe in. Actually, the only place I had ever felt safe in. And I hated that. I hated that I needed someone. I didn't deserve that. I was Katniss Everdeen. The one who no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt. Always.

I tried not to get hurt and that seemed to hurt others. And as I wallowed in my self-pity, the nightmares flashed before my eyes.

_I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this alone._

I needed something. I needed home. I needed safety. I needed to be understood. I needed love, even if I wasn't entirely sure what that is.

But just as in my nightmares, nothing remained of home here. Just a wavering illusion of what a perfect life should be like, bright lights, luxurious feasts, elaborate clothing, but it was all just a ruse to mask the mess of darkness behind it.

My thoughts drifted back to home, then back to Peeta. I missed the way his arms were wrapped around me, his hand gripping mine tightly. I remember how he held me in his sleep, his arms tenderly wrapped around my waist, a reminder that even if I lost myself, there was something, or someone, to bring me back. I couldn't get lost in my thoughts, as I was now. Imagining his arms around me, I tried to slowly drift back to sleep.

The train sped off towards what would possibly be our most memorable and worst feat yet.

But my nightmares were calling me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was just a short one-shot, thanks for reading. All of the characters belong to Suzanne Collins. Thanks to CaitlinIsANerd, as always, for putting up with me and checking my writing. Read and Review? :]

- xLoveNaturally.


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